Kristian Stipe
3/11/12
Mackenzie
Write 101
#Occupy
Logic
Since The Occupy
Wall Street movement got starred in September 2011 the movement has
gained a very large following and have had many goals. To raise
awareness about the lengthening gap of economic imbalance our nation
is facing, leading to the ever so trend setting “We are the 99%.”
The main way they decided they were going to make themselves heard
was no ordinary protest. They organized a long term protest to sit
outside on Wall Street in hopes of slowing down the people working at
the stock market and make them wonder what they were really doing to
our economy. It was Widely successful and televised and reported on a
great deal, and with the increase in popularity the #Occupy Movement
spread across the nation, even branching into our own backyard of
Missoula, MT. Once it reached the smaller cities like Missoula,
people started camping outside of city halls and libraries to
protest, since they didn’t have anything so consequential as Wall
Street, and show their support.
Looking back on it
a lot of people were very gung ho about it, but after a while it died
out. Instead of making a statement about how there is a large social
and economic gap in our society, it is now just a bunch of people
camping outside of town halls all across the Nation. When was the
last time you heard anything about the Occupy Wall Street?
Personally, it has been a while. It took a long time to even figure
out if the original Occupy Wall Street in New York was even still
happening. They have just become background noise that no one is
listening to or cares about any more.
When searching for
more news about the Occupy movement, the only thing that came up was
that the Occupy Wall Street is ruing out of money. “The group had
$44,828 for the week ending of March 2nd in their general fund; and
an additional $90,000 set aside strictly to bail out protestors
during their planned 'American Spring' protests. The group only
raised about $1,500 in the same week while spending about $45,000 on
the group's kitchen, street medics, New York bus and subway passes,
and printing costs.” (1) I believe their process was all wrong.
Whether you agree with the movement or not I believe we call all say
that it was not as big of a success as people originally hoped it
would become.
I believe that
instead of staying there indefinably, and just making our city hall
look like a hobo hut, the entire movement should have protested for a
short amount of time. Even if it was a week long protest, finish the
protest, but promise to return next month and the month after that,
until things have been changed. That way the news and social medias
could actually do a story about in every now and then instead of just
letting it die. A news report loses interest if it is always the
same. “Sure enough Bob, they are still here, and they still support
the same causes. Now back to you in the studio.”
If the movement
would have done this they could have avoided a lot of problems that
they have faced. They would have not faced the financial issues they
are aright now. They would not have to pay for food, or the kitchen,
because there would not be protestors living there constantly. They
would also not run into the much more important issue of loosing
steam with the public, the media, and other protestors. Along with
the loss of support the movement also lost a lot of financial backing
from donors.
(1) Cabrera, Claudio E. "Is Occupy
Wall Street Running Out of Money?" The Root. 11 Mar.
2012. Web. 11 Mar. 2012.
<http://www.theroot.com/occupy-wall-street-no-money-left>.
You have a really solid essay. Two things I would focus on; your conclusion is kind of weak. Make sure to go back and make sure it is a summary of your paper. Also, what are ways that people who are following the movement and agree with what the protesters are standing for do if they do not want to camp out? Great job!
ReplyDeleteHi Kristian,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your essay. I would go back and read it out loud there were a few lines that needed rephrasing and such. The line about the media " Sure enough Bob..." Was pretty funny. Try inserting more examples and anecdotes like that in your paper. Those little comedy inserts really do make reading these articles fun. Also with this sort of a paper you really need to go out with a bang Just like your protesters you kind of just left us hanging.
Thanks again for the read!
Kristian, I really liked the humor you used throughout your essay, it was both necessary and also correlative to the message you were trying to portray. The conclusion ended sort of abruptly, but that was the only thing that really stuck out to me.
ReplyDelete