Taking Stock

The portfolio has been way more of a task than I thought it would be. Not only did it take hours of searching through my computer, but it took hours of work. Over the past two weeks the Mansfield Library has been my best friend, thanks to the writ portfolio. Luckily my final product is something that I can be proud of.

Portfolio Intro

Writ Portfolio Introduction

Prior to the Writ 101 course, Gustave Flaubert couldn’t have explained my idea of writing any better, “I am irritated by my own writing. I am like a violinist whose ear is true, but whose fingers refuse to reproduce precisely the sound he hears within.” Before taking Writ 101, I was a very confused and troubled writer. It seemed like I always knew what I wanted to write, until I got an idea on paper. Not only would it sound awkward, but I felt like it didn’t pertain to the prompt. Writ 101 not only gave me the tools and processes needed to write a paper, but it also gave me confidence in my abilities as a writer.

Matt's Intro

What is this? Does someone want to actually look at this portfolio? That is good. Better than good, its superb. I feel proud of it. Looking back through the class these things that I have written and the way in I did said writing has made me proud. I feel like I have progressed a deal as a writer in this class. I am at the very least out of the humdrum attitude I took to writing in high school.

Final Conference Sign-Up Sheet

Conferences are individual. At conference you will receive your final grades. 

Thursday 5/10 Food for Thought

12:30-12:50: Briana

1:00-1:20: Loni

1:30-1:50: Jessie

2:30-2:50: Sam

3:00-3:20: Mac

3:30-3:50: Jess

Friday 5/11 Food for Thought

12:30-12:50: ___________________________

1:00-1:20: ___________________________

1:30-1:50: ___________________________

2:30-2:50:____________________________

3:00-3:20:____________________________

3:30-3:50:____________________________

Matt's Taking Stock

Man have I written a lot this semester. I have actually done drafts of papers. I have edited and revised. I have treated each paper as a different beast and slain each in a different way. I still need to do some work though. This portfolio business needs to get done, and that means more drafts. Maybe 3 more. Probably 4. More to write, much more. I know what each paper needs now though, and can go through accordingly. I have learned what I need to do before any one told me. That is a big improvement. I have so much to look back on too.

intro

Writing 101 has really taught me a lot about what it will take to be a successful writer in college and the amount of work it will take. I have always been over critical of my first drafts and never just let myself sit down and let my words flow without the interference of my internal editor. I believe that the free writes we have done have allowed me to be able to just put down a bunch of my thoughts and  ideas in the early stages of drafting. This tool has really helped me get ideas for my essays.

Reflective Workshop Guide

1. Break into groups of 3.
2. Read through your partners' papers. 
3. Consider does this introduction make the argument that the author has further developed their writing process through this course? Does the author use specific examples from each of the essays to demonstrate habits of mind key to the writing process such as:
1. Inquiry (the asking of questions)
2. Invention
3. Research
4. Drafting, Redrafting
5. Revision
6. Final Edits
7. Rhetoric and Argument
8. Personal Voice
9. Narrative and Exposition
4. Write 2 main suggestions for revision before you begin discussion.
5. Discuss. 

Victor Taking Stock

As I look through all of the papers scattered throughout my dorm room I can see that we have actually gone over a lot in this class, and I've done more drafts on the essays for this class than any other class in my writing experience.

Victor Intro

Before Writing 101 I never knew how to turn off my “inner editor” as I would begin writing my rough drafts. I always would revise as I went along and I would never just let my imagination flow onto the paper on its own. Doing free writes and other exercises in class helped me to let my fingers pound out a few a paragraphs without even thinking about mistakes, grammatical errors, or structure. Throughout this class I experienced a lot of peer revision and I learned that having a lot of different people read and critique your paper is one of the most helpful things you can do for a solid revision.

Dayle's Intro

   I was not looking forward to this class. My writing has always been mediocre at best. I didn’t enjoy writing. This writing class was different then any other writing class that i have ever taken. I was not used to coming up with ideas and slowly wading into writing a complete draft. There was limited stress in this class for me. Having a free write at the beginning of each class gave me a bases to draw from for that evening homework. Writing an essay became simple steps but creative enough that they never got boring. My writing has improved because of this class.

Dayle's Taking Stock

Taking Stock:

I can defiantly tell when I had more time to write one paper over another paper. I can also see that the more in-depth I was with my in class free writes the easier the paper was to write. I enjoyed each style of paper in their own way but by how much I wrote in invention work really shows which ones I liked going in. I have almost every thing I need to make a final portfolio. A couple more drafts of each essay and i think i might be done.

Taking Stock

Annaleigh Newall

April 30, 2012

Taking Stock

                As I first look at my work, it’s cool to see all the changes that I have made and how I have progressed as the semester has continued.

Introduction

Dear Mackenzie,

            I came into the class and I honestly thought it would be an easy “A”. I have a strong writing background from my education at home and didn’t think that I would learn much. Sure, many of the things that were discussed throughout the semester were things that have been engrained into me since as long as I can remember. But this class has helped me to see the other ways of writing, instead of just the ways that I was used to.

          

Briana's Introduction

When I started this class I hadn’t written an academic paper for close to 10 years.  It was terrifying to think about having to write something other than poetry or stories. Before I started the class I tried to recall the knowledge I had previously gotten about how to write a decent paper, and there was pretty much nothing left to recall. It had been so long since I had written anything academically that I had forgotten what the rules were. So needless to say walking into Writ 101 was scary, even though I considered myself to be a writer.

Briana's Taking Stock

After reviewing my work up to this point I found that I was surprised by the content. This class

Loni Neilson Final Portfolio Introduction

     Hello I am Loni Neilson and what you’re about to read is my final portfolio. Before you start to turn the pages and either read or skim through the words that I have written I would like you to know that this class has saved me from an acute case of creativity block. Reading through my old drafts I could see how I have slowly been able to reach my goal of writing succinctly and to the point. I have thoroughly enjoyed this class and hope to continue getting better at this expressive art form. I hope reading this final portfolio will spark some ideas for you to write. Just remember the first lesson that I learned in this class. The most important lesson to my writing; don’t let your brain stop your fingers.

UPDATEDHomework Tuesday 4.24

Read: Skim Portfolio Keeping Tab 1-60.

Revisit your Reflective Essay and review your entire working portfolio. 

Write: A version of taking stock #8 (p. 39 of PK tab in the EW) that accounts for the whole semester. Post this on the blog by Sunday at midnight.


Write: Your reflective introduction and Post it to the blog before class next Tuesday.


No class on Thursday the 26. Be sure to attend your conference and bring whatever you need help with.


Bring your working portfolio to class on Tuesday along with print copies of anything you want feedback on from your peers.

Conference Schedule

Mackenzie Cole

Writ 101.28 Sustainability

Spring 2012

Conferences

Time	Wed 4/25 Cor 254	Thurs 4/26 Cor 254	Friday 4/27 The Break	Mon 4/30 The Break
2:00-2:30	Name:	Name: Shayleen	Name: Briana	Name: Loni
2:40-3:10	NO CONFERENCES	Name: Dayle	Name: Scott	Name: Matt
3:20-3:50	NO CONFERENCES	Name: Annaleigh	Name: Jessie	Name: Victor
4:00-4:30	NO CONFERENCES	Name: Haley	Name: Jess	Back to Cor254
4:40-5:10	NO CONFERENCES	Name: Sam	NO CONFERENCES	Name: Clayton
5:10-5:40	NO CONFERENCES	Name:	NO CONFERENCES	Name: Kristian
5:50-6:20	NO CONFERENCES	NO CONFERENCES	NO CONFERENCES	Name: Mac
6:30-7:00	Name:	NO CONFERENCES	NO CONFERENCES	NO CONFERENCES

REMINDER: ARRIVE 5 MINUTES EARLY!

NO OFFICE HOURS DURING CONFERENCES, NO CLASS THURSDAY THE 26!

PAA Final: Kristian Stipe

Kristian Stipe

Writ 101

Mackenzie Cole

4/24/2012

PAA

Everyone’s life is affected by oil, and my life is no exception. The food I eat is processed and shipped to me. The house I live in was made from machines that run on oil, and the materials were shipped to the location. The computer I use and most of the things I buy are directly related to oil. The plastic they are made of and the shipping, manufacturing, and processing of the product all require oil. It is no wonder people's wallets are getting lighter and lighter when the price of oil spikes. With the rise of gas prices more and more people start to complain and point fingers as to whose fault all of it is. When every detail of our daily lives is affected by the price of oil, we feel the pressure of increasing oil prices more and more. My question then is, what can we do to lesson the strangle-hold of oil on our daily lives?

Workshop guide Complete Draft PAA Thursday 4/19

 Break into groups of three. 

1. Read through each essay as it stands. (15 minutes)
• Mark each paragraph as expository(E)/narrative(n)/bothexpositoryandnarritive(B). Is there a balance between the two? Suggest ways there could be. 
2. Discuss (5-10 per essay) Remember: Start with big picture problems and only move on to line edits if the paper is on firm ground in terms of fulfilling the guidelines. Then offfer a reverse outline of the paper. Be generous here: what could the thesis be, what claims support it and how does the evidence tie in? 
3. Describe the thesis.  Does the paper logically support that thesis? Is it implicit, does it need to be made explicit? Would it be better if it came at the end of the essay?
4. Do the author's points flow logically? Does the author support his/her claims with research and/or personal anecdote? I. Are there sections where grammar gets in the way of meaning? Rework them and offer suggestions for how to avoid those missteps in the future. 
5. Does the paper move smoothly from paragraph to paragraph. Mark if not and suggest they look over EW 65 or give your own ideas for how to change it. 
6. Consider if the paper would benefit from moving sections around and offer your ideas. 
7. Does is it seem like the same voice speaks throughout? If not, mark the sections where the voice seems to shift.
8. Point out any syntactical or grammatical errors. 
9. Give two main suggestions for revision along with an idea of how to accomplish it.
10. Give two possible argument outlines. 

LNeilson PAA Draft

Loni Neilson

19 April 2012

Writ 101 Section 28

Mackenzie Cole

PAA

Why Procreation Instead of Adoption?

     “They were in the car and she was standing holding me. Then when it came to be the time to hand me over she kissed me on the forehead and said “I Love You”. She handed me over to my new parents and my Dad always thought that was the most remarkable thing. That is one of the highest forms of love; unselfishness. That you would give your baby away for the sake if it being happy.” (Billet)

Homework Thursday 4/19

Revise your PAA into a final draft. Be sure to review the assignment sheet and include copies of the 2 most important pieces of research you cite, a works cited in MLA or APA format, as well as all other added materials.

Read the assignment sheet for the final portfolio. Come to class Tuesday with ideas for changes to the final portfolio lined out, and thoughts on what activities will best help you prepare your work it (workshops, conferences, work sessions, presentations, etc).

Do a revision to your Life Place Essay or OP-ED based on one of my suggestions from your response rubric. If you're hoping to have your OP-ED published in time for an A, I'd suggest doing a revision ASAP based on my comments and sending it out. 

Free Write for Thursday 4/19

Narrative can be a powerful tool in an essay. Many of the essays you'll have to write for college won't allow for narrative to play a role unless your subtle about it. For the free-write today I'm hoping to help you get an idea of how to thread narrative into your essays in ways your professors will embrace.

Before I get too far ahead of myself, let's look at what I mean when I say narrative. Narrative, simply, is a description of a series of events or scenes. Scenes are moments where actions occur that are central to the overall arc of the narrative. Usually, the first scene will introduce the place the narrative occurs and the characters involved along with some sort of problem or conflict. Each following scene develops the tension of the conflict until there is some kind climax, after which the tension is resolved. All this can happen in one scene, but typically occurs over the course of several.

1. So, for the free-write today tell me a story that's important to your paper. 
• Include at least 3 separate scenes. 
• Be sure to introduce all characters early on and give the setting where the action takes place. 
• Write from first person.
• Paragraphs can be no longer than 3 sentences.
• At least one descriptive paragraph per scene. 
2. If you feel your story is successful, consider using it in your essay as either evidence in support of a claim, strung out through your paper to keep your reader involved, or as an introduction or conclusion, or all three. 

Neary PAA

What effects does my medication have on my life? 

A Top 100 radio station played softly in my ears as I tried to focus on the music instead of the blaring noises filling my head. I was losing feeling in my limbs as I tried to stay perfectly still, just like the doctor had asked. The IV was pulling on my skin though, and my view of a grey ceiling five inches from my face wasn’t helping my boredom. Then the music stopped, and the voice of the MRI technician blared in my ears.

Another draft

Version:1.0 StartHTML:0000000167 EndHTML:0000013481 StartFragment:0000000457 EndFragment:0000013465

Matt Hill

Writ 101

4/11/12

PAA

School Sucks, Let's do Something Different

As a kid going to school always felt like such a waste of time. Every time you learn something the question would always come as “why do I need to know this and how will it help me in everyday life?” It seemed like you only would learn things so that you could do them again whenever a test came. Why did we do tests? How many times does an employer sit you down and ask you to write an essay on why Huckleberry Finn took his raft down the river and what are the themes of the book? I see no probable cause for why grown adults would do something like this. As a child though school is one of those necessary evils and the real question is why do need it and why is it the way it is?

Final Draft

Shayleen O’Hayre

 How has standardized tests effected my education?

The sound of my alarm on early Saturday morning automatically puts me into a bad mood. I have that horrible feeling of knowing that in a short time I will be spending the next 3 hours sitting in a small room filled with people that I don’t know. This is the perfect way I wanted to spend my Saturday morning, sitting next to an innocent girl who probably crammed for weeks, and on the other side I have a kid who most likely doesn’t even know why he is here. I hated having to sit down in this small room with plain white walls, not even a single picture around me to even brighten up the fact that I have to sit there for hours. Everything seems to be going fine you hear an occasional sound of someone’s stomach growling, until suddenly that question and room I was in all turned dark. The stress and small quickly got to me, before I knew it was lying on the ground. I had simply passed out and fell out of my chair onto the ground. Lesson learned when you have a concussion from soccer the stress of an ACT probably isn’t a good idea. So I may not have been the goodie goodie or the weird kid, but now I was going to be the one kid who couldn’t handle the pressure and passed out.

How do societal influences play a part in thoughts about obesity?

Since my sophomore year of high school, I have flooded my schedule with classes in sports medicine and exercise science. I loved learning how to fix a sprained ankle in time for the big state basketball game, why your arm bends a certain way and why it can’t bend another way and why we have all sorts of different bones for different reasons. I can honestly look back at these classes and say they were my favorite.

Dayle's 2nd PAA Draft

Dayle Walters
04/ 19/ 12
Writ. 101
Draft
                                 Is China over Stepping their boundaries in Tibet?

    I read the news and I always knew that there were problems in Tibet, do to the  China’s government’s involvement. However it was not till I took an anthropology class in my senior year of high school that I actually understood why there was so much tension between China and Tibet. I watched this movie on sky burials and was in complete awe at what they were doing. I am not religious in any capacity of the word so I feel no strong tendencies to say that there actions are anymore disconcerting than any other religion.
  

PAA

Sam Smith

Writ 101

Academic Argument Essay

Postal Service

It was a typical dinner at Grandma and Grandpa’s house, the low lit house was full of conversation and good energy. The round table was filled to maximum capacity, sixteen people total along with enough food to feed a giant army. The house was filled with smells of barbecued ribs fresh off of the grill, home grown citrus, and Grandma’s famous rolls. My family could as for nothing more, we had delicious food, good company, and interesting conversation. For the first time that I could remember I was engaged in the “adult” conversations. As a college student apparently I was finally ready to be interested and offer my opinion on the many friendly debates being discussed. As I took my first bite of a tender rib, barbecue sauce covered my face and my aunt, a generally quiet but funny character, got very serious. She then brought up the topic of the struggling United States Postal Service. My Aunt Wendy and her husband John have been mail carries for the service for over thirty years now. 

PAA: Kristian Stipe

How Does oil price effect my day to day life, outside of driving a car?

Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING is affected by the price of oil. The food you get at the grocery story was grown or raised using farm equipment that runs on oil, then it is processed using oil based machinery, after that it is packaged, usually in plastic which is petroleum based, after that is it shipped in large trucks or trains that run on oil. From there it is placed into plastic bags (even paper bags are affected by oil) then taken home where it is usually cooked, which is powered by electricity which is usually, but not always, produced from oil based products. Food is not the only thing that goes through this cycle. Lumber for your house, the cloths on your back, the roads you walk on, and everything in between is all affected directly by the price of gasoline.

Does the drinking age in America benefit my safety?

Personal Academic Argument

Everyone knows someone who can get them alcohol. Whether they are of age and the bartender is their provider, or a fake ID tricks the liquor store clerk to sell it to them. Alcohol is easier to get in the United States than finding a perfect pair of jeans, or a teacher who works hard to help you. The ease behind the consumption of an illegal item for many who posses it makes you wonder, why do we continue with the higher drinking age? The other evening I overheard people in the hallways discussing drinking and fake ID’s. With more underage kids attending the bars than passing their classes I began to think about alcohols effect. It made me start to consider the drinking age and how it directly benefits or hurts me, and my surroundings. I then began to wonder, is the drinking age of America beneficial to my safety?

Briana's PAA

Did the absence of my father play a role in my teenage pregnancy?

Wolf Etiquette Clayton I PAA

Clayton Improta

Writing 101

Personal Academic Argument

                                                            Wolf Etiquette

            We all know the classic image of the beat up seventies ford pick-up driving off road with the fresh deer kill strapped to the hood. This rig is often driven by several men of various age, they wear several shades of camouflage and orange rowdily firing their high-powered rifles at any living creature. Unfortunately this image is conveyed more often than you would like to think. Although many hunters like to think of their sport as a commonality with wildlife and a form of co-existence, many do not. Through poor judgment, neglect and even cruelty a few hunters can tarnish the reputation of many.

PAA: Kristian Stipe

How does oil price effect my day to day life, outside of driving a car?

Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING is affected by the price of oil. The food you get at the grocery story was grown or raised using farm equipment that runs on oil, then it is processed using oil based machinery, after that it is packaged, usually in plastic which is petroleum based, after that is it shipped in large trucks or trains that run on oil. From there it is placed into plastic bags (even paper bags are affected by oil) then taken home where it is usually cooked, which is powered by electricity which is usually, but not always, produced from oil based products. Food is not the only thing that goes through this cycle. Lumber for your house, the cloths on your back, the roads you walk on, and everything in between is all affected directly by the price of gasoline.

Home Work Tuesday 4/17

Read: "Language".

Revise: Your essay into a refined complete draft. Be sure that you:

• Incorporate a personal voice. Try and have around 50/50 personal and academic voice.  
•  2000-3000 words with a clear argument backed up with both researched and personal evidence. 
• Have a complete works cited with at least 7 sources, a minimum of two which are academic. Be sure to follow MLA or APA guidelines for both your works cited and in text citation. 
• Post this on the blog before class Thursday 4.19. 

LNeilson PAA Draft

Why Procreation Instead of Adoption?

     “They were in the car and she was standing holding me. Then when it came to be the time to hand me over she kissed me on the forehead and said “I Love You”. She handed me over to my new parents and my Dad always thought that was the most remarkable thing. That is one of the highest forms of love; unselfishness. That you would give your baby away for the sake if it being happy.” (Billet)

    

Free Write for Tuesday 4/17

1. Listen to a brief description of ways to outline.
2. Outline your essay in two different directions. Be sure to use a sentence to describe each point of your outline. An example of outline follows:
1. Hook: Imagine having your native language on the brink of disappearing
2. Situation/Overview: Many indigenous languages have been lost and more are on the brink
3. Language as a carrier of culture/ models/scripts of action. 
4. Thesis: Its time schools embrace teaching indigenous languages through new models of learning in both highschool and college level to help combat this trend.
5. The case of Blackfoot here at U of M.
• The problem with following european models of teaching language.
6. The case of Arapaho.
• My experience in the course. 
• The need to follow indigenous models.
7. Conclusion: The importance of acting on this, what we lose when we lose these languages. 

Dayle PAA 04/17

Dayle Walters
04/ 17/ 12
Writ. 101
Draft
                    China in Tibet

    I read the news and I always knew that there were problems in Tibet do to the  China’s government’s involvement. However it was not till I took an anthropology class that I actually understood why there was more tension between China and one of their provinces. I watched this movie on sky burials and was in complete awe at what they were doing. I am not religious in any capacity of the word so I feel no strong tendencies to say that there actions are anymore disconcerting than any other religion.
  

Academic Argument

Sam Smith

Writ 101

Academic Argument Essay

U.S. Postal Service

It was a typical dinner at Grandma and Grandpa’s house, the low lit house was full of conversation and good energy. The round table was filled to maximum capacity, sixteen people total along with enough food to feed a giant army. The house was filled with smells of barbecued ribs fresh off of the grill, home grown citrus, and Grandma’s famous rolls. My family could as for nothing more, we had delicious food, good company, and interesting conversation. For the first time that I could remember I was engaged in the “adult” conversations. As a college student apparently I was finally ready to be interested and offer my opinion on the many friendly debates being discussed. As I took my first bite of a tender rib, barbecue sauce covered my face and my aunt, a generally quiet but funny character, got very serious. She then brought up the topic of the struggling United States Postal Service. My Aunt Wendy and her husband John have been mail carries for the service for over thirty years now. 

APA final draft

 How has standardized tests effected my education?

The sound of my alarm on early Saturday morning automatically puts me into a bad mood. I have that horrible feeling of knowing that in a short time I will be spending the next 3 hours sitting in a small room filled with people that I don’t know. This is the perfect way I wanted to spend my Saturday morning, sitting next to an innocent girl who probably crammed for weeks, and on the other side I have a kid who most likely doesn’t even know why he is here. I hated having to sit down in this small room with plain white walls, not even a single picture around me to even brighten up the fact that I have to sit there for hours. Everything seems to be going fine you hear an occasional sound of someone’s stomach growling, until suddenly that question and room I was in all turned dark. The stress and small quickly got to me, before I knew it was lying on the ground. I had simply passed out and fell out of my chair onto the ground. Lesson learned when you have a concussion from soccer the stress of an ACT probably isn’t a good idea. So I may not have been the goodie goodie or the weird kid, but now I was going to be the one kid who couldn’t handle the pressure and passed out.

PAA final draft

Haley Shovlin

Personal Academic Argument

Is the drinking age of American beneficial to my safety?

Everyone knows someone who can get them alcohol. Whether they are of age and the bartender is their provider, or a fake ID tricks the liquor store clerk to sell it to them. Alcohol is easier to get in the United States than finding a perfect pair of jeans, or a teacher who works hard to help you. The ease behind the consumption of an illegal item for many who posses it makes you wonder, why do we continue with the higher drinking age? The other evening I overheard people in the hallways discussing drinking and fake ID’s. With more underage kids attending the bars than passing their classes I began to think about alcohols effect. It made me start to consider the drinking age and how it directly benefits or hurts me, and my surroundings. I then began to wonder, is the drinking age of America beneficial to my safety?

Jess Neary PAA Full Draft

Jess Neary

Full Draft

How do I fit into the abortion debate? 

A Top 100 radio station played softly in my ears as I tried to focus on the music instead of the blaring noises filling my head. I was losing feeling in my limbs as I tried to stay perfectly still, just like the doctor had asked. The IV was pulling on my skin though, and my view of a grey ceiling five inches from my face wasn’t helping my boredom. Then the music stopped, and the voice of the MRI technician blared in my ears.

How do societal influences play a part in thoughts about obesity?

Since my sophomore year of high school, I have flooded my schedule with classes in sports medicine and exercise science. I loved learning how to fix a sprained ankle in time for the big state basketball game, why your arm bends a certain way and why it can’t bend another way and why we have all sorts of different bones for different reasons. I can honestly look back at these classes were my favorite.

Summer ENCR Courses available!

Dear TAs and Introduction to Creative Writing instructors,

I am writing on behalf of the Summer Session Fiction, Poetry, and Nonfiction instructors. This is a perfect time to let your classes know about the Creative Writing opportunities offered during the summer, especially as they begin to register for fall classes.

Please look out for flyers in your boxes this week. We would greatly appreciate if you could pass these out to your students!


Here are the details:
Intro to Creative Writing: Fiction, ENCR210
Intro to Creative Writing: Poetry, ENCR211
Intro to Creative Writing: Nonfiction, ENCR212

1st Session (Fiction and Poetry)
May 21 - Jun 22, 2012
Mon, Tues, Wed, Thurs
1:30 pm - 3:20 pm

2nd Session (Fiction and Nonfiction)
June 25 - July 27, 2012
Mon, Tues, Wed, Thurs
1:30 pm - 3:20 pm

Students can also contact us with any questions they have.


Thank you!

Josh, Nathan, Shawn, and Zoey

A Teen’s Brave Response to “I’m Christian, Unless You’re Gay”

http://www.danoah.com/2012/04/a-teens-brave-response-to-im-christian-unless-youre-gay.html/3/

Conference Schedule

Mackenzie Cole

Writ 101.28 Sustainability

Spring 2012

CONFERENCES

Time	Tues 4/10 Cor 254	Wed 4/11 Cor 254	Thurs 4/12 Cor 254	Mon 4/16 Break Espresso
2:00-2:20	NO CONFERENCES	Name: Jessie	(1:30:Dayle) Gordo	Name: Mac
2:30-2:50	NO CONFERENCES	Name: Annaleigh	NO CONFERENCES	NO CONFERENCES
3:00-3:20	NO CONFERENCES	NO CONFERENCES	NO CONFERENCES	Name:
3:30-3:50	NO CONFERENCES	NO CONFERENCES	Name: Haley	Name: Jess
4:00-4:20	NO CONFERENCES	NO CONFERENCES	Name: Kristian	Name: Scott
4:30-4:50	NO CONFERENCES	NO CONFERENCES	Name:	Name: Shayleen
5:00-5:20	Name: Loni	NO CONFERENCES	Name: Matti	NO CONFERENCES
5:30-5:50	Name: Jess	NO CONFERENCES	Name:	Name: Clayton
6:00-6:20	NO CONFERENCES	NO CONFERENCES	NO CONFERENCES	Name: Victor
6:30-7:00	NO CONFERENCES	NO CONFERENCES	NO CONFERENCES	Name: Sam

REMINDER: ARRIVE 5 MINUTES EARLY!

BRING A COPY OF YOUR DRAFT AND ANY QUESTIONS!

NO OFFICE HOURS DURING CONFERENCES, NO CLASS THURSDAY THE 12TH!

Pair Review

1. I. Read through the essay as it stands.
2. Offer a reverse outline of the paper. Be generous here: what could the thesis be, what could the evidence be? 
3. give two main suggestions for revision along with an idea of how to accomplish them
4. give two possible argument outlines. 

PAA: Kristian Stipe

How Does Gas Price effect my day to day life, outside of driving a car?

Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING is affected by the price of gas. The food you get at the grocery story was grown or raised using farm equipment that runs on oil, then it is processed using oil based machinery, after that it is packaged, usually in plastic which is petroleum based, after that is it shipped in large trucks or trains that run on oil. From there it is placed into plastic bags (even paper bags are affected by oil) then taken home where it is usually cooked, which is powered by electricity which is usually, but not always, produced from oil based products. Food is not the only thing that goes through this cycle. Lumber for your house, the cloths on your back, the roads you walk on, and everything in between is all affected directly by the price of gasoline.

Free Write for Thursday 4/10

1. Reflect: Where are you at with feeling prepared for the PAA? Have you kept on the readings from the CW? Do you need to spend some time reviewing the example PAAs? Is it time to start writing a rough draft, or do you need to find some more focus? What do you need to do to get the most out of conference? Is it narrow enough? Would it help you best to meet with me sooner or later?
2. Tell me one story about yourself that relates to your essay. Can you relate your topic to your spring break? How about your hometown? It's ok if you stretch here, but be sure to be vivid, to have action, and to speak from the first person. 

Home Work Tuesday 4/10

1. Conference: Be sure to sign up for a conference and show up. Bring a rough draft and something to take notes on. 
2. Write a rough draft of your research essay before conference. Get to at least 1000 words, have an arguable tentative thesis, a works cited with 3 citations, and an example of quotation, summarization, and paraphrase cited in text in your essay. Bring at least one copy to conference with questions for me. 
3. Revise: Your essay into a complete draft. Be sure that you incorporate a personal voice. 2000-3000 words with a clear argument backed up with researched evidence. Have at least 5 cited sources in your works cited. Post this on the blog before class Tuesday 4.17. 
4. Read:"Language" a chapter from We Have the Right to Exist By Wub-e-ke-niew http://www.maquah.net/We_Have_The_Right_To_Exist/WeHaveTheRight_24-Chapter15.html#_edn6

Sketch of RE

Sam Smith

SKETCH OF RE

How will the US Postal Service going out of business affect the average american?

The skies were grey, a little boy clung to his mother as lightning cut through the persistent clouds ahead, loud thunder followed and he immediately jumped and grasped his mothers hand a little bit tighter. He then asked his mother, “why don’t you ever drive the car to pick me up anymore?” His mother quick to reply said, “well, mommy got laid off, she doesn’t have a job right now… along with 600,000 other Americans. So one of the ways for us to save money is to walk everywhere we can.” Lightning split through the sky once more and the little boys mother reached into her backpack and grabbed her sons rain coat and helped him into it. “Why don’t you have a job anymore mom?” The little boy asked. “Well son, a bad economy and ineffective shipping methods ran the US Postal Service out of business.” The little boy seemed confused and as he pondered what his mother had just told him, he said to himself, “Isn’t that where we get our mail? That makes no sense… How will we get mail or ship things? Or order things online?” “I wonder the same thing, they will just have to figure that out,” his mom softly replied. 

Sketch of RE dayle

                   Why are the Tibetan people being repressed by the Chine’s government?
                                                                Dayle Walters
    I read the news and I always knew that there were problems in this area of China but it was not till I took an anthropology class that I actually understood why there was more tension between provinces and there government in this particular situation than any other country has shown in a long time. I watched this movie on sky burials and was in complete aw at what they were doing. I am not religious in any capacity of the word so I feel no strong tendencies to say that there actions are anymore disconcerting than any other religion.
 

Briana's PAA

Does the Absence of a Biological Father Make Teen Girls at Higher Risk for Pregnancy?

Victor Mauro PAA Narrative

Do alcohol companies intentionally target youths (ages 12-20?)

Loni Neilson PAA Narrative

Nature vs, or, and Nurture

     This topic has always been interesting to me. My good friend Katie that I have grown up with is adopted. She has always been grateful for her adopted family and has loved the opportunities that are available to her because she was raised by them. However studies have shown that as humans we are better off to be raised by our own blood rather than by others that can provide a more beneficial environment. I have always taken the side that children should be raised by those who can provide for the child as well as love the child unconditionally.

   

How does major media bias influence the average American voter?

This topic and question is very important to me because I want to involve myself in politics for a career. How can major news organizations twist, turn, blackout, and highlight certain political incidents to influence a different thought process in the average American citizen vote. I have been following the Republican Primaries very closely and have virtually witnessed the media bias to promote different candidates or to completely ignore others in order to sway the popular opinion of the general public. How is it that Ron Paul can be selling out his rallies at prestigious universities such as UCLA or Michigan State just to name a couple and be receiving almost no major media coverage. Ron Paul gets more financial support from our veterans and current military personal than all the other GOP hopefuls combined and more than President Obama. How can this be virtually blacked out and ignored by the major media. Ron Paul is very critical of the major media and supports a lot of policies that the people behind the news casters with the money do not support which creates a bad situation for a major media bias against him. Does the major media feel as though we as the general public are not “smart” enough or “qualified” enough to formulate our own opinions from the news if it was delivered in a honest and sincere way.  This to me is offensive and should be to everyone that has an attempt to be influenced by a bias that the major media produces.

PAA incredibly rough draft

How can education be more beneficial?

As a kid going to school always felt like such a waste of time. Every time you learn something the question would always come as “why do I need to know this and how will it help me in everyday life?” . It seemed like you only would learn things so that you could do them again when ever a test came. Why did we do test? How many times does an employer sit you down and ask you to write an essay on why Huckleberry Finn took his raft down the river and what are the themes of the book? I see no probable cause for why grown adults would do something like this. As a child though school is one of those necessary evils and the real question is why do need it and why is it the way it is?

PAA Draft

Jess Neary

Am I being considered in the abortion debate?

As I get older, there are choices and decisions that I will need to make to live a long and happy life, some that pertain to every college kid, and others that are much harder to conceptualize. When I was ten months old, I was diagnosed with Kawasaki’s disease, a (then) very rare disease that usually affects children from one to five years old. The disease caused four aneurisms to form on the coronary arteries of my heart. Today, two can potentially affect me if I do not take daily medication of Coumadin and aspirin. Coumadin is a blood thinner, so my blood does not clot and cause me to have a heart attack.

Doctor Minich was the pediatric cardiologist who correctly diagnosed me in Salt Lake City, Utah, after I had already been on life support and taken off without a real treatment. She saved my life.

After visits every three months for the first two years of my life, Doctor Minich told my parents that I should be able to live a normal and happy life, free of limitations concerning physical activity and virtually any other aspect. When I went in for my annual checkup when I was sixteen, she told me I would need to take steps if I ever decided to get pregnant down the road, and that drugs and alcohol could be dangerous. At sixteen, none of this bothered me and when I was eighteen I said goodbye for the last time, needing an adult cardiologist.

I had no idea the medication I took could cause serious damage to the fetus of my child if I was ever to get pregnant. I take birth control, but what happens if there was a slip up someday and I did indeed get pregnant and didn’t know it? After doing research, according to heart-disease.emedtv.com, the FDA says that I could potentially have a miscarriage or stillbirth, while the fetus could have severe problems such as birth defects, blindness, mental retardation, brain or spinal problems, prematurity, and excessive bleeding (in both fetus and the mother. The site goes on to say, “The risks appear to be greatest when Coumadin is taken early in the pregnancy (weeks six through nine), although exposure at any time during pregnancy could lead to devastating outcomes.”

As I read the document listing all of the things Coumadin could do to a child, I was stunned. The thought of causing such pain and unfair treatment to an unborn child was unthinkable, and I didn’t want any part of it. On top of that, as I said before, Coumadin is an anticoagulant, or blood thinner, and during any type of medical procedure, doctors take extreme precautions to make sure I don’t bleed too much. When I was fourteen, I had a surgery to get my adenoids out in my nose. I was in the hospital for two days after to make sure I didn’t have any unforeseen bleeding. Two weeks prior to this “walk-out” procedure, I had to start giving myself twice-daily shots as a replacement to the Coumadin. I cried every time I stuck the needle in my side, not because I hated needles, but because the aching pain the meds left after I was done.

This all comes before the actual birth, in which my life would also be at risk with the potential of bleeding to death, or the amount of exertion on my heart that could potentially lead to a heart attack. Although Doctor Minich said I shouldn’t have any physical restrictions, I still can’t run without feeling lightheaded and out of breath much more quickly than others. Physical exercise can sometimes be brutal simply because I can’t continue more than a certain amount of time without catching my breath.

So even if I was going to get pregnant at some point in my life, would I be giving myself shots twice every day for nine months? The other possibility would be to have heart surgery, take out the two remaining aneurisms, and be done with the Coumadin all together. It was never discussed simply because I was stable, there was no need to take me off the medication when I was doing so well. Would I need to go to the extreme of heart surgery?

I want to research more on the other possible medications I could take that may not affect a fetus like Coumadin does, as well as get in touch with a cardiologist in town.

This (finally) gets me to the point of being considered in the abortion debate. According to Roe v. Wade, I am not although many conservatives still disagree. The Roe v. Wade case was brought on my a pregnant single woman (Roe) who challenged Texas’ criminal abortion laws. She won, and allowed legal abortion for women. Before this case, there were exceptions for women whose life would be in danger, and I still fall into that category (Cornell). Sadly, there are people in the world who can’t see passed their simplistic view of the world in that a fetus is a living human being and should have the rights as such no matter what. I do see their point, but where is the humanity in bring a child into a world where they are practically ostracized because of a birth defect, or mentally handicapped because their mother didn’t know they were pregnant. My dad had four brothers, each with their own unique characteristics but one, my Uncle John, had a spinal defect and gave him a humped back. Everywhere the family went, people stared at Uncle John because he was different and he was treated his whole life as someone to avoid, even though he was an intelligent and kind man. My dad would never wish that life upon anyone, and I agree with him.

Now that I have a better understanding of what the medication could do me and a potential fetus, a thousand questions pop up. I did support the right to choose side of the abortion debate before, but now with me directly affected, I want to take steps to make sure I would never have to face that choice myself. Whether it is finding a new medication, having surgery, or even having a procedure to get my tubes tied, I do not want to reach that point where I have to make the decision to have an abortion because it is my fault.