Why Procreation Instead
of Adoption?
“They were in the
car and she was standing holding me. Then when it came to be the time to hand
me over she kissed me on the forehead and said “I Love You”. She handed me over
to my new parents and my Dad always thought that was the most remarkable thing.
That is one of the highest forms of love; unselfishness. That you would give your
baby away for the sake if it being happy.” (Billet)
LN: What is your view on adoption?
KB: I think it’s awesome from my experience I think that I have
a lot better of a life now then if I wouldn’t have been adopted. My birth mom
was on welfare for a really long time and had another child that she kept and
she doesn’t have a solid male figure in her life because he also left.
Adoption can be the outcome of many things inability to conceive children,
a result of unwanted pregnancy, or lack of a suitable environment. A great
amount of people turn to adoption for the sake of the child. One group of
people did turn to adoption in the result of unwanted pregnancy and the
inability to conceive. This group was Carry Conter and The Billet couple.
LN: What do you
know about the adoptive parent’s background? Before the adoption they were
trying but unable to have children is that correct?
KB: “well my mom had really bad endometriosis I guess and so
she had three miscarriages and after the third one they just stopped trying and
my mom suggested adoption and my dad didn’t want anything to do with it he was
like no I don’t want to adopt a baby and my mom eventually talked him into it.”
Katie’s story is a success story. She was adopted at the age of three
days into the Billet Family from her birth mother who was at the age of sixteen
when she gave birth to Katie. Carry knew from the start that she would not be
able to provide for her child and so she started looking for a happy couple through
an adoption agency.
“Mine is an open
adoption which I really like because I feel if I didn’t know my birth parents
id feel really, I think I would feel a lot different about adoption if it was a
closed adoption. I’d want to know my background, my parent’s story and why they
gave me up.” (Billet)
The beginning of the adoption
process Begins with a choice, the choice of an open or a closed adoption. The
choice that the Billets made was for an open adoption.
“With open adoption, the birth parents will have involvement
in the raising of the child as well as communication with the adoptive family
during the child’s life. If a closed adoption is chosen, the birth parents lose
all custody and visitation rights. In this situation both sets of parents
remain anonymous to each other and any documents from either set of parents are
kept private.” (Gray)
I spoke with an adoption agency named Adoption and family
support program (intermountain) and spoke with Kelly Zimmerman who is the
Family coordinator there. When asked to explain the adoption process Kelly
responded
“The first step to the adoption process depends on the person/persons
that are giving up the rights as guardian to the child and the family that applies
for adoption or foster care. Once the state is now in ownership of the child
then they wait for a family to become licensed by the state. Once this family
is licensed then they go through a matching placement assessment where the
child is referred to the family. Once this recommendation is made then
everything that the agency knows about both parties is submitted to the state
supervisor. If they are in agreement with the facility then a transitional
phase goes into effect. Now depending on the situation this can take up to two
years. If everything goes well and the family and the child want to continue
with the adoption then a court hearing is set and the child is officially
adopted into the family.” (Zimmerman)
LN: Would you ever adopt a child in your future?
KB: Yes! I would. I’ve actually thought about it. There are
so many kids that are in foster homes and want to have a loving family, that
need a loving family.
LN: Did you ever feel disconnected with your family because
you were adopted?
KB: No, There is actually a story that when my mom got
pregnant with my sister and they showed me the ultrasound which I had no idea
what it was since I was seven but I uh I guess my dad was talking to me about
it and I was getting pretty upset and I looked at him with a huge tear in my
eye and it started rolling down my cheek and he asked :What’s Wrong? I said Im
just happy that you guys will have your own real baby now
“But yeah I don’t feel a disconnect from my family in any
way because I mean they are my family. It’s not any different we just don’t
look the same.” (Billet)
LN: Do you think more people should adopt rather than
procreating?
KB: Um that’s a difficult question I definitely do think we
need more people that are willing to adopt especially the older kids that are
in foster care because most people that adopt want a baby. I definitely feel
that we need more people in the world that want to adopt older kids because
they still deserve a home and there are a lot of kids that still need a home.
“I thank him a lot for adopting me. Like if I am saying I
love you dad he will say I love you too and I will say thank you for adopting
me, because I just feel like my life is really good because they were able to
provide for me more than my birth mother would have been.” (Billet)
LN: So you have a sister that was born into the family
several years after you were adopted. What is your relationship like with her?
KB: it’s awesome. We get a long super good, I love spending
time with her. She is only thirteen and I am twenty but I consider her one of
my best friends. I never felt like my parents loved her more because she wasn’t
adopted.
“I would never call my birth mom “mom” because she didn’t
raise me she just gave birth to me so I just call her Carrie.” (Billet)
Mom and my dad and my birth mom were very close when I was
growing up they would write letters back and forth and call each other all the
time and send pictures. They would let Carrie know how I was doing like when I said
my first word and took my first steps.” (Billet)
“I feel so weird being around people that I look like. I don’t
look like anybody that I live with or my family that I see all the time. So
when I’m with people that I’m biologically related to its really weird for me.”
(Billet)
Works Cited
Billet,
Katie. Personal Interview. 04/12/2012.
Doherty, Kayleigh.
"PeopleCreatingChange:AProposalforaSystemofOffsettingtheEnvironmentalDamage
ofProcreation." . N.p., 2012. Web. 14 Apr 2012.
Gray,
Emily. "Open Versus closed adoption." . KU Medical Center,
2009-07-02. Web. 13 Apr 2012. http://archie.kumc.edu/handle/2271/747
Zimmerman,
Kelly. Phone Interview, 04/17/2012.
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